Hopeful News

I know it has been a long time since I last wrote.  I had a feeling this might happen when I decided to start this blog.  Starting something that requires an enormous amount of discipline during one of the most stressful times of your life is, of course, exactly something I would do.  Also feeling the weight of not working on it is also, of course, exactly something I would do.

I have not written for several reasons.  The biggest one is probably that the entire reason that I started this has not exactly come about as I expected.  Our move has grown me as a person but not in the cultured and sophisticated way I thought it would.  I had imagined me throwing a wrap across my shoulders as I sipped daintily on an espresso holding on to my daughter's hand as we wheeled through the airport in Paris for a long weekend away.  What I learned is that Europe is an expensive & frustrating place.  Some people around me have seemingly jumped right into the fray.  Israel and I have found that with our family dynamics it is not as simple as it seemed in the United States when we started this journey.

Have you found ever yourself with something that looks good on paper?  That is what Israel and I call some of our ideas that we later realize were not quite so smart or that maybe we have not investigated all the variables.  Europe has proved to be good on paper for the Figueroas but in real life, not so much.

I have always felt myself to be a bit detached from my family.  I was always the loose cannon, the hippy.  Everyone stayed in Georgia while I lived elsewhere.  I have sipped Mai-Tais while living in Hawaii, ate barbecue in Austin, Texas, & even taken my daughter for her annual Santa visit to Macy's in New York City. I obliviously felt that I was the perfect candidate for backpacking across Europe.  Until I got to Naples.

Naples has set everything I ever knew about myself on its ear.  It has taken a few months for me to get to a point where I could admit what I am about to say to anyone except for my immediate family but here it goes.  I hate Europe, in particular Naples, but Europe overall. I hate the toilets, I hate the fact that I can't leave my windows open in my now air conditioner-less apartment since they burn garbage at night and the smoke burns my throat.  I hate living with wardrobes....

How do you decorate with that?  I hate that going anywhere in Naples requires viewing vast amounts of garbage lining the streets and an innate directional compass as GPS fail half the time to find places where there are no addresses.  I know that some of my fellow Americans here have fallen in love but to me, Naples is a stinking disgusting place.  I miss the United States.  I want to go home to the commercialism and bigger is better attitude where we work out butt off to an early grave.  I miss not having to be embarassed or clucked at if my children want a box of macaroni-and-cheese.  We try to eat homemade most of the time but every now and then either my schedule or the children's taste request ready-made.  The funny thing is that I used to be the scoffer, the clucker and that is what is at the heart of my lapse in writing on this blog.  I have been humbled.  I have learned things about myself that I never knew to be true and for that I can thank Naples.

Because of that, and due to Italian privacy laws that prevent Italians from being photographed without written permission,  I have decided to change up the blog to be more about our general life.  I am afraid that if you waited around to see amazing European sights it would take a considerably longer time between posts.  I am going to chronicle interesting tidbits in our life.  It could be a recipe, a funny story, my unending search for decent home decor, or even a rant or two.  There will even be European sights in here from time to time.  I hope that this becomes a place where I can come and let people know tricks I've learned, especially military spouses, and vent if needed.  I will do my best to stay current and have challenged myself to write at least once a week at first, increasing it as I go.

It is strange the whens and whys and wheres that cause you to grow.  I am going to embrace this new me and move forward.  Thanks for listening.

When we left off the Figueroa family looked like this......

By the time we were finished traveling we looked like this.........

What happened to cause us to look like this?  The swirling vortex of hell that is called transatlantic travel.  It started out harmless enough.  We arrived at Newark with a mile long line to check in.  This is where it starts. Newark Airport does not have a separate international terminal like most other airports. Everyone leaves and checks in in one great big lump.  This manages to produce a snarl at check in that was chaotic to say the least.  It took us almost 2 hours to check in (thank God we were bored and left the Marriott early).  We then proceeded down to our gate for our 7:30pm flight where we then sat and sat and sat and sat.  Why did we sit for so long?  Because of this....

We knew it was a slim possibility for a storm to occur. The weather channel said about a 30% chance but as we were soon to learn, Lady Luck had left the Figueroas.  After several false starts at which the entire gate crammed the entryway trying to get on we were flying allowed to board.  We board and this is the one shining beacon of happiness.  Apparently United had changed their planes from what was originally booked and 18 A,B,C, and D were now Economy Plus seats.  This meant we had considerably more legroom than the schmucks 2 rows back.  We had the TVs in the headrests with an enormous amount of viewing options available to us.  Then luck left us as we were then left on the tarmac for an additional two hours waiting for our turn to take off.  This pushed us far out of the realm of possibility for catching our flight to Naples.  I guess I should explain, our itinerary was this, Newark to Frankfurt on United, hour layover, and then Frankfurt to Naples on Lufthansa.  We foolishly did not concern ourselves with the layover as we assumed we would just catch another flight.  More on that later...

Our next descent into the vortex was Hannah.....

  

Hannah is not a good traveler, her brother, yes.  Raphael once rode in the front of a U-Haul truck for 14 hours straight with Israel and I and nary a peep.  Hannah, not so much. We had placed Hannah in her car seat so she could be as comfortable as she could be but that wasn’t much.  She tossed and turned the entire 8 hours.  She did not like her legs hanging so we flipped down the tray and used it to elevate her feet.  That lasted for most of the time until one flight attendant out of the 8 we had been in contact with decided we could not do that.  Fortunately we were about an hour away from landing so it did not matter much.  She woke up crying about every hour so that meant that the person next to her, i.e. me was woken up from what little sleep they had managed and had to soothe her before she woke the entire plane (which she probably managed at some point).  I got about 1.5 hours of sleep once we descended into Frankfurt but at this point we are just glad to be getting off the plane 3 hours later than originally intended, ready to see a little bit of Europe, and get our itinerary moving.  

Europe is weird, or at least in the two places we disembarked from airplanes, in that they land their planes way out on the tarmac and bus you into the gates.  It feels a little old school stepping down off the plane into the cool air.  It is not pleasant in that everyone is trying to get down that staircase at the same time and has no care for a woman clutching a toddler’s hand while groping three bags with the other.  Once we had arrived at the gate and pushed our way through we were told by a representative (we are still not sure who the heck he was) that we were rebooked on a flight and to go to gate A1 (a gate that was never correct in any of our info).  We foolishly rely on this man’s info and head through what I can only describe as a rabbit warren that is the Frankfurt airport until finally arriving at gate A1 to.......nothing.  No one is there and it is at the end of a long hall and looks to be a place for storage.  There were a few wheelchairs there along with a mop and broom.  We sidle over to the next gate where a very unpleasant German gentleman is manning the gate.  Israel explains our dilemma, the man taps into the computer as agents are wont to do, and then says this....”Your flight is for 8:45pm tonight.” Excuse me what?  It is 12:15.  We have slept for an hour and a half and you are telling me what?  Israel asks him if there are any other flight to which he looks dead at Israel and says, “No.”  Now Israel is a calm guy but this attitude is really starting to irritate him and the guy spells his doom when he answers Israel’s next question of “Can you tell me what time our original flight we were due to take left?” with a churlish “No.  It doesn’t matter.”  I am not sure what was said next as once he said that I hustled the kids away with the distinct feeling that words were about to be unleashed.  If the hand gestures and facial expressions are to be believed communication was not being shared with a feeling of international peace and understanding.  Israel came back to us and explained that there are only 2 flights per day to Naples, one in the morning and one at night.  We were officially stuck.  No phone, no internet, no nothing.

After weighing our options we decided to eat a bite and then find the USO, which we knew from our research was in the airport somewhere.   I will pause here to wonder at the German fascination with sandwiches.  I would say 90% of the food joints in the Frankfurt airport sold sandwiches.  Sandwiches are fine but if you are stuck at the airport for an indeterminate amount of time the last thing you want is multiple sandwiches.  To continue, after our lovely lunch of sandwich and water we then began what turned into a two hour search for the USO.  One airport worker would tell us to go left, the next right, the next up, the next down.  After finally finishing our trek through the entire length and breadth of the Frankfurt airport, including a multitude of bathrooms, we arrived at the USO.......to find out it closes at 3:00pm, 10 minutes after we arrived.  We had just enough time to send out 2 emails and grab a soda and feel the vague warmth of electric Americana on the TV before getting kicked out into German nothingness again.  This is around the time where we realize that my son had misplaced my daughter’s toy bag.  The same bag I had just found for a steal in Georgia before we left.  For some reason this was my last straw.  I just started to cry.  I was tired, stressed to the max, unwashed, and had had enough.  I sat for a minute and cried as my family watched helplessly and for some reason that 2 or 3 minutes of tears got me through the rest of the day.  I pulled up my big girl panties and moved on.  On a side note: we think that that bag may have caused a slight ruckus in baggage claim as later the terminal was shortly blocked off with the citing of bag left unclaimed in terminal.  Whoops.

The next installment will be later this week, maybe tomorrow.  We start the move in process for our housing today.  I say process as it is not as easy as it is in the States.  Moving is a series of appointments as you cut through Italian red tape.  We also learned that there are no pillows available from the lending locker, not that I would want to borrow one, and we may not get our express shipment for about a week or so due to the Italian summer break schedule, yes you heard that right.  Most of Italy shuts down the last two weeks of August for summer vacation.  This makes moving difficult during this time.  Anyways, the kids and I are trekking over to the NEX to see about a few things, such as the above mentioned pillows, before the appointment.  I am not sure if or what I will have to do tomorrow but I will try.

Well, we are here and have been here for 10 days.  We have had 9 of the roughest, most horrible days of our lives.  There is a song that is often attributed to Frank Sinatra that refers to that fickled female, Lady Luck.  Well, on July 26, 2012, Lady Luck ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction of the Figueroa Family.  She took off like a bat out of hell and did not look back.  I just wish she would’ve let us know she was leaving.

It started out nice enough.  After a wonderful week at Disney World with my sister and brother-in-law followed by a  hectic but fun week and a half with my mother and our nieces we headed out for a flight to Philadelphia. 

The flight was fine.  I say it was fine because due to the chaos that followed I can’t for the life of me even remember that flight.  Trust me when I say an unmemorable flight is a good flight.  Later I would’ve only prayed for an unmemorable flight.  

We then got a NICE Chrysler Town & Country minivan for the ride up to Newark.  I will stop here to say that I am not much of a minivan person but darn it that thing was nice.  I am sure it was top of the line and nothing close to what I am usually prepared to pay for a vehicle that has every chance of getting vomited in.  I can be pretty cheap in that area.  

We also stopped at our favorite Vietnamese restaurant for lunch for the last time.  I always consider it necessary when going to a foreign food establishment that the majority of the clientele be of the race of people that is selling the food, i.e. Mexican people eating Mexican, Chinese people eating Chinese, etc.  I know I am in the right place when I feel out of place and we ALWAYS feel out of place when we eat at this particular restaurant.  We are usually the only non-Asian people in the place and that is okeedokee with me.  After noshing down on some fantastic Bun we headed on to our destination, the Marriott Newark Airport.  This is where things took a curve.

I will add a disclaimer to say that in all likelihood Raphael caught the cold while we were vacationing with my sister and brother-in-law in Disney World.  Isn't that a good looking group of people?

We always get sick after going there.  There are just too many people with varied personal hygiene habits surrounding you there not to get sick.  What we did not expect was the veracity of the cold.  It is a knock down, kick-you-in-your-pants beast that does not let you go for at least a week or more.  He came down with it on our way to Philly and spent the rest of that day and the next sleeping in bed. 

The rest of us enjoyed the benefits of a night and extended check out at a Marriott.  We ordered room service for dinner and watched movies, we lounged around preparing for the long flight we knew we had ahead of us, and did our best to care for Raphael.  We had elected to pay for a late check out since our flight was not supposed to be until 7:30pm and it was worth every penny.  I could not imagine sitting around the Newark International Airport for any longer than necessary.  (Or so I was thinking at that time.  Oh, what my arrogance was going to cost me!)  We were excited when we left the Marriott.  Our bellman was kind enough to take a picture of us as we left.  Oh what fools were we............

I will continue this tomorrow as I need to start dinner.  Stay tuned!

Well, what happened is what I was afraid would happen.  I missed the entire month of June.  It has been SO chaotic in the Figueroa household that this blog just got lost in the shuffle. It seems that sometimes it is hard to write about your life when you are living it.

We moved out of housing in the middle of the month.  The movers were so quick that they only took one day when they were supposed to take two.  This was good and bad.  Good-to get things going and bad-we had no housing for that night.  After a few desperate calls we found an extended stay where we spent 3 cramped nights before moving into what we call our "permanent temporary lodging".  It is on base housing that most bases have available for military folks.  Some are better than others and JBMDLs is really nice.  We are in a 2 bedroom suite with a full kitchen.  Not to much to complain about other than the lack of kitchen supplies.  It is hard to make do with a medium pot, small pot, and pizza pan but military wives are ever resourceful.  I have never utilized the foil pan section at my commissary in my life.

Our next adventure is vacation.  We are flying to Georgia, picking up a car, visiting family for 36 hours  before driving to Disney World, vacationing with my sister and brother-in-law, then returning to Georgia for 10 days before heading off to Italy.  I guess we love chaos.  My husband needed to take his leave before leaving the states and being at home for me was the obvious choice.  It helps that my husband feels at home in Georgia second only to Texas, which was just not an option, so that made the choice easier.  It is hard having family in many places.  You always feel as if you are short-changing people or having to make excuses.  It is an un-winnable situation that we have stopped trying to win.  We usually just do our best and continue to try and vacation as a family as well.  I guess that is all that anyone can do-their best.

It will probably get very chaotic again and I am going to assume that I will be out of sight until arriving in Italy but I will try to write again in Georgia.  Regardless it will be either buon giorno or hey ya'll.  I can only promise that I will write again.

Extensive moves such as a Transatlantic move are a series of stress-inducing steps.  The first step is actually getting accepted for the assignment. Second is the nail-biting medical screening.  This one itself was a little bit more for us than most people due to the ADHD in our family but we passed.  We then had to fill out a mountain (and I am talking Kilimanjaro not some puny Blue Ridge hill) of paperwork of which the processor promptly lost half of it. This step has been increasingly frustrating as we have been recently contacted that he has misplaced some of it again.  In addition,  it has taken 6 tries to get our car processing paperwork straight, and we filled out the Italian visa paperwork too early, a lost afternoon if I ever saw one, only to be told when we went to do it again that we should have filled it out sooner. Grrrr!

 After that it was navigating the perilous waters of signing up and scheduling for our move.  Military OCONUS (overseas moves) are schedule in three parts; the first is for your stuff you can't or don't want to take with you.  This gets placed in storage until you return stateside.  The second is what is called unaccompanied baggage or express shipment.  This is stuff you will hopefully receive prior the rest of your stuff. This is what the guys are packing up for us today.  It is stuff such as what has sat on my dining room table for a week......

The final shipment is your household goods.  This is all the rest of your stuff and takes approximately 3 months to get to you.  That will happen for us in approximately 2 weeks.  We will lose all of the medicines, cleaning supplies, and food that we have so our neighbors are scoring big time.  We will then move to a hotel for 2 nights and then onto our temporary lodging for about a month until heading to Disney World with my sister and her husband to zone out until driving back up to Newark for 2 days and flying out.  All in all a draining experience that I hope is worth all of the trouble.  We have faith that it is.

After the shipment you still have to process visas, move to temporary housing (which in our circumstance is multiple places), vacation, and then head out.  As you can see, a series of steps.  At the beginning I kept looking at the whole picture but that was giving me enough stress for a coronary so I began to focus on only the step right in front of me.  That has made the whole thing infinitely more manageable.  It has helped that Israel is helping out with this move as well.  Moving is not usually his cup of tea but he saw me floundering on my own and threw me several life rafts.  He has assisted in many of the errands, has ordered me a cleaner to process the house (see earlier post), and offered the vacation time.  It was the vacation that was the sweetest.  His wallet normally has a combination lock on it and for this he even gave me the code.  I can't wait until vacation is the next step.  Ohhhhhhhh vacation.......

The vacation was our choice but a great choice if  I do say so myself.  You see, in addition to all of the steps and the stress that they have been causing us adults, the move has been hard for our  young 'uns.  We did not anticipate how hard.  We did not anticipate the clinginess, the tears, the nightmares, and fear of sleeping alone.  It was surprising but both children have been affected equally.  I thought I was home safe with the boy since he was so excited about this in the beginning but he has had just as many problems as his sister.  It is a lot to take in; a foreign country when you start high school.  We have tried to work with him and be patient.  Fortunately, his behavior has not changed much for the worse.  He just needs more reassurance, a lot more.  She is the same but she is more concerned about her friends.  She is going to miss the kids in her preschool (even though they are out for the summer) and her playground pals and is concerned about family member "finding her".  She thinks if she moves across the water that her family won't be able to find her.  We have explained to her that family will always "find" us but it is still concern.  All of this emotional turbulence is what gave birth to the idea of the Disney trip despite the fact that it added onto the adult stress quotient exponentially.  We felt they needed something to be excited about and it worked.  Last night, we made a countdown chain together and it has taken some of the focus off the move and onto vacation with their favorite aunt and uncle, Heather & Jeff.

It seems to be exactly what they needed.  We are taking our time getting down to Orlando, stopping on the way at my Mom's house, and really trying to enjoy some time together before the move.  Raphael starts high school this fall and will pull farther away from us once he makes friends so this was a good excuse to spend some quality time together.  It all really is the blink of an eye.

All in all, this has been a major upheaval for my family and a lot more work and stress than I could ever begin to anticipate but as I close my eyes I dream that I am sitting back, drinking a glass of wine, and looking out over the Mediterranean and it is all totally worth it.

Well, I do believe that I have one of the most awesome husbands on the planet.  I know, I know, everybody says that but seriously today Israel has gained himself some serious get-out-of-jail free points.  He hired me a cleaner to process out our housing.  This means that someone else gets to deal with making sure this place sparkles after the movers have left, not me.  I get to sit out on a pool deck at a hotel watching my kids play in the water.  Now mind you, we are not talking four star hotel but even Motel 6 beats out cleaning out a rental.  I love my husband.

It seems that I have been bullied into sharing our journeys with the vast expanse of space called the internet.  It is simple.  We are a family currently serving in the United States Navy and as such are NEVER anywhere close to our families. We are coming up for rotation in two months and this go around we hit the proverbial jackpot and are moving to Naples, Italy for a few years.  Therefore we will be living a lifetime dream for some people and others are merely interested in what it is like over there so all have asked me to begin writing about our experience.  I can't promise prompt posts or even vastly entertaining ones but I will do my best to give our friends and family an idea of what we are going through and doing.  This is for all of you.....