Wednesday, August 8, 2012


When we left off the Figueroa family looked like this......



By the time we were finished traveling we looked like this.........



What happened to cause us to look like this?  The swirling vortex of hell that is called transatlantic travel.  It started out harmless enough.  We arrived at Newark with a mile long line to check in.  This is where it starts. Newark Airport does not have a separate international terminal like most other airports. Everyone leaves and checks in in one great big lump.  This manages to produce a snarl at check in that was chaotic to say the least.  It took us almost 2 hours to check in (thank God we were bored and left the Marriott early).  We then proceeded down to our gate for our 7:30pm flight where we then sat and sat and sat and sat.  Why did we sit for so long?  Because of this....


We knew it was a slim possibility for a storm to occur. The weather channel said about a 30% chance but as we were soon to learn, Lady Luck had left the Figueroas.  After several false starts at which the entire gate crammed the entryway trying to get on we were flying allowed to board.  We board and this is the one shining beacon of happiness.  Apparently United had changed their planes from what was originally booked and 18 A,B,C, and D were now Economy Plus seats.  This meant we had considerably more legroom than the schmucks 2 rows back.  We had the TVs in the headrests with an enormous amount of viewing options available to us.  Then luck left us as we were then left on the tarmac for an additional two hours waiting for our turn to take off.  This pushed us far out of the realm of possibility for catching our flight to Naples.  I guess I should explain, our itinerary was this, Newark to Frankfurt on United, hour layover, and then Frankfurt to Naples on Lufthansa.  We foolishly did not concern ourselves with the layover as we assumed we would just catch another flight.  More on that later...

Our next descent into the vortex was Hannah.....
  
Hannah is not a good traveler, her brother, yes.  Raphael once rode in the front of a U-Haul truck for 14 hours straight with Israel and I and nary a peep.  Hannah, not so much. We had placed Hannah in her car seat so she could be as comfortable as she could be but that wasn’t much.  She tossed and turned the entire 8 hours.  She did not like her legs hanging so we flipped down the tray and used it to elevate her feet.  That lasted for most of the time until one flight attendant out of the 8 we had been in contact with decided we could not do that.  Fortunately we were about an hour away from landing so it did not matter much.  She woke up crying about every hour so that meant that the person next to her, i.e. me was woken up from what little sleep they had managed and had to soothe her before she woke the entire plane (which she probably managed at some point).  I got about 1.5 hours of sleep once we descended into Frankfurt but at this point we are just glad to be getting off the plane 3 hours later than originally intended, ready to see a little bit of Europe, and get our itinerary moving.  

Europe is weird, or at least in the two places we disembarked from airplanes, in that they land their planes way out on the tarmac and bus you into the gates.  It feels a little old school stepping down off the plane into the cool air.  It is not pleasant in that everyone is trying to get down that staircase at the same time and has no care for a woman clutching a toddler’s hand while groping three bags with the other.  Once we had arrived at the gate and pushed our way through we were told by a representative (we are still not sure who the heck he was) that we were rebooked on a flight and to go to gate A1 (a gate that was never correct in any of our info).  We foolishly rely on this man’s info and head through what I can only describe as a rabbit warren that is the Frankfurt airport until finally arriving at gate A1 to.......nothing.  No one is there and it is at the end of a long hall and looks to be a place for storage.  There were a few wheelchairs there along with a mop and broom.  We sidle over to the next gate where a very unpleasant German gentleman is manning the gate.  Israel explains our dilemma, the man taps into the computer as agents are wont to do, and then says this....”Your flight is for 8:45pm tonight.” Excuse me what?  It is 12:15.  We have slept for an hour and a half and you are telling me what?  Israel asks him if there are any other flight to which he looks dead at Israel and says, “No.”  Now Israel is a calm guy but this attitude is really starting to irritate him and the guy spells his doom when he answers Israel’s next question of “Can you tell me what time our original flight we were due to take left?” with a churlish “No.  It doesn’t matter.”  I am not sure what was said next as once he said that I hustled the kids away with the distinct feeling that words were about to be unleashed.  If the hand gestures and facial expressions are to be believed communication was not being shared with a feeling of international peace and understanding.  Israel came back to us and explained that there are only 2 flights per day to Naples, one in the morning and one at night.  We were officially stuck.  No phone, no internet, no nothing.

After weighing our options we decided to eat a bite and then find the USO, which we knew from our research was in the airport somewhere.   I will pause here to wonder at the German fascination with sandwiches.  I would say 90% of the food joints in the Frankfurt airport sold sandwiches.  Sandwiches are fine but if you are stuck at the airport for an indeterminate amount of time the last thing you want is multiple sandwiches.  To continue, after our lovely lunch of sandwich and water we then began what turned into a two hour search for the USO.  One airport worker would tell us to go left, the next right, the next up, the next down.  After finally finishing our trek through the entire length and breadth of the Frankfurt airport, including a multitude of bathrooms, we arrived at the USO.......to find out it closes at 3:00pm, 10 minutes after we arrived.  We had just enough time to send out 2 emails and grab a soda and feel the vague warmth of electric Americana on the TV before getting kicked out into German nothingness again.  This is around the time where we realize that my son had misplaced my daughter’s toy bag.  The same bag I had just found for a steal in Georgia before we left.  For some reason this was my last straw.  I just started to cry.  I was tired, stressed to the max, unwashed, and had had enough.  I sat for a minute and cried as my family watched helplessly and for some reason that 2 or 3 minutes of tears got me through the rest of the day.  I pulled up my big girl panties and moved on.  On a side note: we think that that bag may have caused a slight ruckus in baggage claim as later the terminal was shortly blocked off with the citing of bag left unclaimed in terminal.  Whoops.

The next installment will be later this week, maybe tomorrow.  We start the move in process for our housing today.  I say process as it is not as easy as it is in the States.  Moving is a series of appointments as you cut through Italian red tape.  We also learned that there are no pillows available from the lending locker, not that I would want to borrow one, and we may not get our express shipment for about a week or so due to the Italian summer break schedule, yes you heard that right.  Most of Italy shuts down the last two weeks of August for summer vacation.  This makes moving difficult during this time.  Anyways, the kids and I are trekking over to the NEX to see about a few things, such as the above mentioned pillows, before the appointment.  I am not sure if or what I will have to do tomorrow but I will try.

Monday, August 6, 2012


Well, we are here and have been here for 10 days.  We have had 9 of the roughest, most horrible days of our lives.  There is a song that is often attributed to Frank Sinatra that refers to that fickled female, Lady Luck.  Well, on July 26, 2012, Lady Luck ran as fast as she could in the opposite direction of the Figueroa Family.  She took off like a bat out of hell and did not look back.  I just wish she would’ve let us know she was leaving.

It started out nice enough.  After a wonderful week at Disney World with my sister and brother-in-law followed by a  hectic but fun week and a half with my mother and our nieces we headed out for a flight to Philadelphia. 


The flight was fine.  I say it was fine because due to the chaos that followed I can’t for the life of me even remember that flight.  Trust me when I say an unmemorable flight is a good flight.  Later I would’ve only prayed for an unmemorable flight.  

We then got a NICE Chrysler Town & Country minivan for the ride up to Newark.  I will stop here to say that I am not much of a minivan person but darn it that thing was nice.  I am sure it was top of the line and nothing close to what I am usually prepared to pay for a vehicle that has every chance of getting vomited in.  I can be pretty cheap in that area.  


We also stopped at our favorite Vietnamese restaurant for lunch for the last time.  I always consider it necessary when going to a foreign food establishment that the majority of the clientele be of the race of people that is selling the food, i.e. Mexican people eating Mexican, Chinese people eating Chinese, etc.  I know I am in the right place when I feel out of place and we ALWAYS feel out of place when we eat at this particular restaurant.  We are usually the only non-Asian people in the place and that is okeedokee with me.  After noshing down on some fantastic Bun we headed on to our destination, the Marriott Newark Airport.  This is where things took a curve.


I will add a disclaimer to say that in all likelihood Raphael caught the cold while we were vacationing with my sister and brother-in-law in Disney World.  Isn't that a good looking group of people?

We always get sick after going there.  There are just too many people with varied personal hygiene habits surrounding you there not to get sick.  What we did not expect was the veracity of the cold.  It is a knock down, kick-you-in-your-pants beast that does not let you go for at least a week or more.  He came down with it on our way to Philly and spent the rest of that day and the next sleeping in bed. 

The rest of us enjoyed the benefits of a night and extended check out at a Marriott.  We ordered room service for dinner and watched movies, we lounged around preparing for the long flight we knew we had ahead of us, and did our best to care for Raphael.  We had elected to pay for a late check out since our flight was not supposed to be until 7:30pm and it was worth every penny.  I could not imagine sitting around the Newark International Airport for any longer than necessary.  (Or so I was thinking at that time.  Oh, what my arrogance was going to cost me!)  We were excited when we left the Marriott.  Our bellman was kind enough to take a picture of us as we left.  Oh what fools were we............


I will continue this tomorrow as I need to start dinner.  Stay tuned!